Sounds impractical right? But it is possible friends. The level of success you achieve, the happiness you feel, the heath you gain, the relations you build and retain and the memories you leave behind yourself, it all depends on your reactions in your daily life to every situation, isn’t it?
Take an example of any close ones you have lost, where you remember of them, what all comes in your mind are their actions and reactions in different situations which we collectively name as memories. Right na?
So isn’t it wonderful that we have control of our own reactions, irrespective of how the other acted? To clarify, I don’t mean that you are supposed to tolerate the wrong done by others. It’s criminally wrong to tolerate injustice, but again there are smarter ways to react.
Having said that, it is my way of exploring and understanding this whole concept with each of you readers and travelling the journey with each of you guys.
First to begin with, we have to realize that the only person who is going to be with till your last breath is yourself. So your first responsibility is to keep yourself happy and that is not selfish for sure.
- Are you quick to get angry?
- Do your moods go up and down often?
- Are you easily affected by what people say or think about you?
- Can an insignificant incident destroy your whole day?
- Do you allow situations and people to affect your moods and behavior?
- Do you lack inner peace?
Imagine how free, relieved and happy you would be, if you could stay calm and poised in the midst of whatever is happening in your life. Think how much physical, emotional and mental energy you could spare, if you were able to avoid becoming upset, angry or moody. Emotional agitation, anger and hurt feelings create stress and unhappiness, and lead nowhere, except to more pain, suffering and broken relationships. They disturb your mind, disrupt your concentration, and prevent you from focusing on the matters at hand. If you wish to enjoy inner peace, it is imperative that you try to gain at least some degree of detachment.
What too Much Emotional Involvement Does
- Too much emotional involvement with matters that do not concern you, or are not important, take too much of your time, energy and health.
- Excessive emotional involvement agitates your mind and feelings, and prevents you from experiencing inner peace.
- Too much emotional involvement leads to attachment, to fear of letting go, and to avoiding changes.
If you wish progress in life, you need at least some degree of emotional detachment, otherwise you let people and events, your thoughts and your past, tie you down. Detachment is important in daily life, in the pursuit of ambitions and on the spiritual path. It is valuable to everyone, whether pursuing spirituality or material success.
Examples of Detachment
Here are two examples of emotional detachment.
1) What happens, when somebody says to you something that you don’t like?
You will probably become angry, unhappy or feel hurt.
Why is this so? Because you value other people’s words and opinions more than you value your own thoughts and opinion of yourself. You let other’s people thoughts, words and actions influence your happiness, actions and reactions.
On the other hand, when you possess emotional detachment, you enjoy a state of inner peace and equanimity, unaffected by circumstances, or by other people’s moods and states of mind. You learn how to let go, and that’s a great achievement.
2) You sit down to meditate, but thoughts keep coming into your mind. You get emotionally involved with your thoughts, follow them, and forget about your meditation.
If you could display some detachment, it would have been easier to ignore the disturbing thoughts. Detachment would have helped you stay collected and concentrated. Emotional detachment is a skill you can learn to master. You need this skill if you wish to become free from worries, fears and anxiety. You will find it useful in many situations, when dealing with family or friends, at your job, in stressful situations, and when pursuing goals.
- This skill can help you stay focused and use common sense in the daily affairs of your life.
- It will help learn how not to let people bother you.
- It will help learn how to not let people affect you.
- You will be able to prevent the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.
I am not talking about physical detachment and avoiding people. Detachment, in the sense referred here, is an inner attitude of composure and equanimity, when you do not take things personally, and do not allow other people’s emotions, thoughts or actions to affect your state of mind and your judgement.
Emotional detachment would not necessarily make your life problems-free. You will still encounter disturbing circumstances and disturbing people, because this is part of life. However, your attitude toward them, your state of mind, and the way you react, would change.
To conclude, I can just say ‘Waves touch you only till you get affected’. It cannot happen overnight, it will
need regular determination and consistency. Belief in yourself is the key to this. If you have firm belief in yourself, you can achieve this.
So let’s start with a simple exercise to observe your own emotional up downs today and check if you can follow the steps discussed above and decide your own reactions wisely. Soon, you will reach a situation where you will stay happy in your own skin, free from judgments, opinions whatsoever.
There are many deeper concepts which follow this issue, which we can discuss in our following blogs like understanding emotional intelligence in depth, art of saying no, power of meditation, art of being yourself. So stay tuned for upcoming blogs in this category. Take care, stay safe at home!!